The Problem With Sewing for Other People

Amen. I have a hard enough time working with people I know, like and have close at hand for fitting purposes. Figuring out what mental picture someone has in their head and attempting to reproduce that fantasy image without mindreading powers is difficult even when both parties work together nicely. It's especially hard when clients have unrealistic expectations and are bitches to boot. Congratulations for being, professional, keeping your cool as long as you did and for knowing when to cut and run.

I dunno, I've gotten a lot of compliments on the work you did for me.

I cannot sew. Oh – it's neither my intelligence nor lack of machine; it's because of a ridiculous leftover baggage item from a mother who was a brilliant seamstress (but didn't like me). So I beg, request, pay, barter – for all of my 18th or 19th century clothing. I am SO grateful for everything….and am aghast that someone would behave as you describe. Blessings on you.

It happens. People who don't sew, frequently don't realize what is feasibly possible. I think that sizing issues are always there, our bodies change especially over the long time it makes to make a costume. Perhaps the outfit was ordered a little too small if the buttons broke, even cheap ones need a good push to break. I'm sorry that this happened to you, they should not have been mad, I'm sure you made every effort to fix the problems. This is the kind of thing that makes me wary of starting a business.

I adore the baby fox Marie Antoinette T shirt!

That's terrible to hear! Your work is beautiful, and if you offered to fix the mistakes, then there was no reason for her to get that upset. She completely crossed the line with the irate phone calls and harassment.
Unfortunately, these customers crop up from time to time. It's happened to every professional seamstress, and has driven more than one costumer to closing shop. I wouldn't let one bad egg keep you from doing something you love.
Perhaps some of your other clients could post rebuttals to the ripoffreport?

Oh Lauren, how awful for you. Hugs and best wishes. Jane

Lauren,
I can't add anything to the supportive things that all of the above people have said, except to heartily agree that there is no excuse for people (especially non-sewers who know they can't begin to do themselves what they requested of you) to behave in such an awful way. I gave up a commission recently when I saw that my vision and the client's vision were not even close to what she had initially described and we first agreed on! I handed it over to a mutual seamstress friend who did a wonderful job and thankfully we all had a happy ending. I'm sorry you had such a rotten experience. Don't doubt your wonderful skills (sewing, people, blogging and more!) for a minute!

That is absolutely horrible how she treated you that way! From what I've seen in pictures, the things you make are *gorgeous*, and since you offered to fix the mistake three times and she denied your help, what does she expect you to do? What an idiot.

(BTW, who receives a commissioned costume piece in the mail and doesn't inspect it until a month later?!)

Lauren,

I KNOW this woman. She's awful. She'll tell you that your work is wonderful then trash you to everyone else, she lies & says things fell apart but won't send anything back to be replaced or repaired – and then wears them for years (and strangely enough they are in great condition).

She demands hours of your time, research & labor & then says you didn't do a good job.

She even had the nerve to tell me that she cried when she got my work, that it wasn't what she wanted… after she approved the design… which she changed 4 times! and then to thank "me" for it the next Christmas (she wrote to my mother rather than me knowing full well who had done the work).

She also cries poor & tries to get you to give her a price break & then changes the design.

I do not sew for her anymore. Not under any circumstances. She almost broke me. Fortunately she is an excellent learning experience & I think if we all got together we could create an excellent business class based on "how to deal with a problem like M."

And if her e-mails to you were anything like the ones to me, you couldn't fit them on a blog.

Dear Lauren,
I understand every word you said above. People who do not sew just simply can never understand the amount of work that goes into it. It takes hours and hours and hours to make or reconstruct a beautiful garment. And then to get a difficult person on top of it all. Horrors. I am so sorry she slammed you on the web. That has got to be the worst. I did professional alterations for a while and found it extremely difficult to get paid for my time. Good luck to you in the future!
Au Revoir,
♥Danette

Funny how she names you on "Rip Off", but does not use her own name! How terrible this must have been for you, Lauren, but it's good to see you firmly and honestly challenging her with the truth, especially on that "Rip Off Report".

Your website is wonderful, the tutorials clear and beautifully illustrated, and the links helpful. Sew on, sister, sew on!

Seriously? She is going out of her way to find your customers and contact them to complain? This woman is bent. Sorry you have to deal with someone like this. At least it sounds like she has such a reputation of her own she can't actually destroy yours- if anything, you'll get street cred from seamstresses in the know just for having survived her!

I cannot rightly convey to all of you how much your support has meant to me. When something like this happens, it causes one to question everything. I am new to the seamstressing business and I was very excited about it, and very excited to be working on these beautiful things. It all seemed to be going so well, and my head is reeling at how it went so bad so quickly.

Olympe – I am very sorry she contacted you to smear me. I am confident I can make a great pair of stays for you, and despite the business aspect of my relationship with this client going badly, I am still proud of the work I did for her.

A learning experience, yes, very much so. I will look at it as that. You have all been amazing in reading my story (I know it was long-winded), and in helping me to get through this. Gail – your notes in particular, as it's important for everyone (and myself) to know that this has happened before!

Awful! So sad that people behave like that. 🙁 Keep calm and have a cupcake. 🙂 This will soon be merely an unpleasant memory, and since you have behaved so well, you are the winner here. We love you, Duchess!

Personally I wish you had posted her name. My daughter is a junior in costume design at Wright State and if she had to put up with someone like this they would be dealing with me. I am not a seamstress myself but I know the expertise it takes to be one. You should never let someone else ruin your dream. You obviously have many clients that are extremely proud of your work. That should be your focus. If this woman behaves so badly, you should post her name and information so that no other unsuspecting souls have to deal with her. She obviously doesn't deserve the products of your talent. You could at least keep someone else from having to go through the same torture that you have had to endure. Thanks for sharing. Keep sewing with love and it will return to you in kind.

How sad. You don't know me, but I am a fan of your blog and some of the others here. I quietly read and study and try to attempt an eekling of the beautiful work you and others craft, while I try to recreate period costumes for my kids and myself for our history presentations for homeschooling. I do know the hours of research and labor, even for my simpler costumes. Few of my friends/family understand how labor intensive this wonderfully addictive hobby is. Of course you are dealing with intense discouragement as you deal with all of this now. I hope this can resolve and dissipate so that you can return to your love of sewing. I love looking at your pictures of your incredible costumes. I'm a picky gal and your stuff looks great! I hope you keep posting about what you sew for yourself (and hopefully others) because I have a lot to learn! =)
Laurie

My wonderful friends and supporters,
As much as I would like to fight back tooth and nail against this, I cannot state the name of this client because I do not want to stoop to her level of slander, which is very serious in the eyes of the law. I know I am right in this situation, I know that I only told the truth, that I stole nothing, that I did nothing wrong, so I am the bigger person here in responding as gracefully as I can without allowing her to walk all over me. I have had two clients whose projects I blogged about – one was James, the 18th c. velvet suit – and the other was this person. The entries following this person's commissioned garments can be found in recent posts and in the tags, and that is all I will say. Yes, it makes me incredibly sad that she did this not just to me, but to multiple other seamstresses, and that she's apparently now preying on another! From what I've read and the information people have sent me, the pattern of behaviors is shockingly identical to what happened between me and this person, but now I know that I will survive it as they did, and that the greatest punishment of all for this person is having to live with themselves.

Oh Lauren! How horrible! People truly do not appreciate how much work, love, and research goes into things like this. I've had a similar experience with a customer who knew NOTHING about the history behind the clothing and was critical of every little thing I did. Then she had the nerve to say she wasn't interested in seeing one piece till the other was completely finished. Don't stop making beautiful things for people who truly appreciate it! That's letting her get the better of you. Don't let stupid people bother you, dear! You did everything you could and sometimes that's not good enough for snotty people.

Goodness. Lauren, I used to have a bridal shop and I have made hundreds of wedding dresses, evening gowns and costumes and I have worked for every kind of customer, including a few like this one. Most of the people I have sewn for have been utterly lovely – patient, appreciative and joyful. A very few viragos however can leave one with the seamstress equivalent of shell shock!! This is why those women who run wedding shops often seem quite hard-boiled, because you cannot be doing this kind of work with your heart on your sleeve.
PLEASE, take it from an old war horse who is not just offering empathy but has been there, done that, and still shakes at fittings, back yourself and let this go (which I think you are well on the way to doing) and learn from it but don't let it deter you. Be a bit 'hoity', do a bit of google stalking, even ask for references if you have to – have the honour be on them not on you. Put your prices up – I don't know what you're charging but it sounds like you're not building enough in to cover the not so obvious costs of calls and communications. Charging big money keeps time wasters away, it really does. And it buys you the luxury of time, which is what you need to do what you do so well. 🙂 Don't lose you noive, sweet heart, even though it is sorely tempting to do so. You do great work and never forget it!

I've dealt with some completely unprofessional and abusive clients before, but this is one of the worst I've ever heard of. This awful client has no right to do this to a hard-working, well-meaning artist.

Oh you poor poor dear 🙁 This is no good at all!! Thank you for the post… But, I am sorry you have had to go through so much :'(

I hope the rest of your week/month is far far better! <3

God bless,
Victoria

I really love your blog and have it linked to mine so that I can go read it all the time.

Ive been doing this kind of work for years, and from time to time, someone will come along who makes your life miserable, but if you persevere, you realize how much your time is worth and while its hard to get what you are worth out of a costume client, it isn't impossible. Raising your prices and having contracts goes a long way towards ridding yourself from these ridiculous people.

There are crazy people in all walks of life and you just have to learn to protect yourself from them. Under no circumstances should you have had to deal with a button issue after months of wear.

We've all been in your shoes. Hang in there! Many of my customers have become good friends!

Oh gosh Lauren, I can't believe I missed all this when it first happened!

I'm so, so sorry you went through all this, but thank you for warning the rest of us.

I hope that the rest of your sewing commissions are smooth sailing!

Thank you all for the continued support. I think you are right – she will defeat herself, and it's best if we all just get out of her way. I've spoken to the police, I've received a letter from the BBB, and in both these cases I've had the chance to respond and set the record straight. She makes her own case against herself with the rants and the complaints, especially when these authorities are given the actual timeline of events: all these complaints and reports only two days after her items were mailed! I am confident it is clear to the police, the BBB, anyone really, that this is a waste of time and an empty case.

Just found your blog today, I've always made my own clothes and am about to start costuming and corset making. I empathise with your horror story. My mother was a dressmaker (retired now) never charged enough for her work and had some nightmare clients including one who never paid for her wedding dress simply because she knew she could get away with it – not worth the cost of legal hassle. My friend's mother was also an excellent dressmaker but was tougher and refused to deal with troublemakers. People who don't sew don't understand the labour involved and have unrealistic expectations especially regarding their own weight problems. Some people also have the notion that something made by hand at home should for some reason be cheaper! Bespoke craftsmanship should of course always be more expensive. Your work looks beautiful to me. Don't let the turkeys get you down!

I have just found this lady's blog. She is not worth bothering about. I was astounded to discover she doesn't make (or even adjust to fit) her own re-enactment clothes.
A leech on hard working seamstress artists like you.
Forget her.