The Language of the Fan

It might very well be impossible to be a costumer and not have heard of “The Language of the Fan.” It’s like Latin – we all know it existed, but few of us actually know how to speak it today. Even better, our missiles of fan-based communication don’t seem to hit the intended targets: men, who are definitely NOT “bi-lingual.”

Yet we still carry fans. We carry them for practical reasons, to fan ourselves furiously to keep from passing out in the Hot Hot Heat (technical term). Yet who KNOWS what we are saying as we rapidly attempt to reduce our body temperatures, or as we indulge our oral fixations and nibble on the corners of the fan, or as the lack of oxygen being afforded our corseted bodies causes us to yawn…politely behind our fans. Well, I’m here to tell you.

Ladies, I give your your first foreign language lesson, that of The Fan:

Hiding Your Eyes Behind an Open Fan – “I love you, I want your babies”
Shutting an Open Fan Slowly – “I promise to marry you, if you just hurry up and ask already!”
Touching the Tip of the Fan – “Get over here, I want to talk to you”
Dropping The Fan – “We will be friends, just friends, so don’t try anything, Mr.”
Fanning Slowly – “I am married, and sooo bored, see how slowly I’m fanning myself?”
Fanning Quickly – “I am engaged, wheeee!!!”
Placing the Handle of the Fan to Your Lips – “Kiss me, or I’ll eat this fan”
Drawing the Fan Across the Forehead – “You have changed…not sure if I like it or not yet”
Twirling the Fan In The Left Hand – “We Are being Watched, and I’m fully ready to deploy my ninja skills”
Twirling the Fan in the Right Hand – “I love someone else, and I’m fully ready to deploy my ninja skills”
Quickly Closing the Fan With Some Force – “I am jealous, and I’m fully ready to deploy my ninja skills”
Placing The Fan Near Your Heart – “You have won my love. Baby, baby, can’t you see my heart beat?”

This is just a smattering of the many things you can say with your fan. According to this, I’ve told many lies! Of course, I believe that The Fan merely gave ladies something to do with their hands while, just like today, the heavy-duty work of flirtation was done with the eyes. The Fan merely provided a stage and a prop by which to feature the eyes (and lips too). allowing ladies to hide their faces or show them, fidget nervously with something, and also tell all to their crushes without actually telling anything. Sound familiar? Not much has changed!

What are you saying (or NOT saying) with YOUR fan? What are some other “fan phrases” you know of? Please leave comments!